Why You Should Prioritize Self-Care, Even if it Disappoints Others

In a world that celebrates selflessness and rewards constant availability, prioritizing self-care can make you feel selfish. Society conditions us to believe that putting our own needs first is wrong. But constantly sacrificing your well-being to meet other people’s demands will lead to burnout, resentment, and emotional exhaustion. 

If you want to live a balanced, fulfilling life, it’s important to prioritize self-care, even if it disappoints others.

You can’t help anyone if you don’t take care of yourself first

If you like to help others, taking care of yourself first will ensure you have the energy, patience, and time for others. You can’t pour from an empty cup, so fill your cup first with self-care.

If you aren’t in a good position physically and mentally, you’ll struggle to help others with even basic requests. For example, if you’re mentally drained and overloaded, you won’t have the time or energy to support a friend going through hard times. That can put a strain on your relationship, especially if your friend can tell you’re struggling with being present.

You’ll need to say no to invitations and slow down long enough to rest and recover between activities. Your friends might not like it, but if you don’t prioritize your own wellbeing, you’ll deplete yourself trying to support others.

Holding others accountable is self-care

Sometimes taking care of yourself requires holding someone else accountable for wrongdoing. This can be something as simple as holding a friend accountable for repaying a debt, or something more serious, like suing a medical provider for malpractice.

It’s important to stand up for your health and your rights. If a medical provider’s negligence has caused you harm, filing a medical malpractice lawsuit isn’t vengeful – it’s responsible. It’s also the only way you’ll get the money to pay your medical and household bills if you can’t work.

Whether you were misdiagnosed or suffered a serious complication, you have the legal right to pursue compensation. Your lawsuit can also make a difference for others by holding organizations accountable and ensuring healthcare providers maintain the standard of care. Sometimes self-care requires fighting for yourself when no one else will.

People-pleasing is harmful to your health

Trying to constantly please other people comes at a cost. In the end, it will lead to emotional exhaustion, chronic stress, and can cause a loss of self-identity. While it might seem like a selfless act, people-pleasing is often rooted in a need to feel important or useful, or a fear that if you aren’t constantly helpful, nobody will like you. If you find yourself pleasing others at your own expense, it’s time for some self-care.

It’s okay to not be available for everyone who wants your help. You don’t have to help every friend move, do every favor asked of you, go to every concert, or accept every invitation that comes your way. When you say no, people might not like it, but your wellbeing is more important.

People-pleasing will give you short-term acceptance, but it can turn your relationships into transactional connections, and you’ll end up resenting them.

Setting boundaries protects your energy

Boundaries are required for respect. When you set boundaries, you protect your time, energy, and emotional wellbeing. If you don’t set boundaries, other people will ask too much of you and push you to your limits. It’s not always intentional. Most people mean well. But if you don’t communicate your boundaries, nobody will know when or where to stop.  

Say “no” often to protect your time. It’s not healthy to make yourself available to everyone all the time. Communicating clear, healthy boundaries promotes honesty and respect in your relationships.

Disappointing others is inevitable

If you avoid self-care because you don’t want to disappoint others, that’s a losing battle. Not only are you not responsible for other people’s emotions, but disappointing others doesn’t mean you’ve done anything wrong.

You can’t avoid disappointing people. If you create expectations, it’s crucial to follow through, but if others are projecting expectations onto you that you never agreed to, instead of giving in when you feel cornered, exercise your boundaries and say no.

Choose yourself first

Prioritizing self care, even when it disappoints others, takes courage. When you choose yourself, you protect your physical and emotional health, strengthen your resilience, and become an example of self-respect. Not everyone will understand or support your boundaries, and that’s okay. The people who belong in your life will respect your space and your need for self-care.